[If he looks amused, Brigade, it's because he kind of is. You are, after all, talking to a vampire right now, and following another one around on orders.]
Most other vampires at this moment are simply trying to find their way in a very dark place. Sometimes, that dark place happens to be their own psyche. Their urges.
will let Big Boss do the talking like was mentioned in the car. haha
I didn't mean you were included, Boss. [ He really didn't. Brig's never been a very good liar. Rarely does he lie as well. In the long time Hawke and he were apart, little has changed in that regard ] I just mean these types of vampires. [ Sheepish, sorry Bucky Barnes moment ]
I've read up on what I can about vampires, sir. [ A beat ] The inner beast they try to fight everyday.
[The way he's smiling at you now may tell you that he's both even more amused at your reaction but also incredibly grateful to just hang around with you like this, circumstances being what they are.
At that last comment, though, the smile's fading just a bit, and Hawke is nodding.]
"Inner beast"... yes, it's about as apt as they can put it, but it does not even begin to scratch the surface.
[ And yet again, Brig is a child, an empty cup, willing to learn from this man who has always been like a father to him. The look on his face is earnest want to know, and respect to wait for his mentor to go on at his own time. ]
[Smiling a little more at that look from around his cigarette. He has missed this, honestly.]
Once you become a vampire, you slowly start to lose touch with everything that made you human. You don't actually feel emotions anymore. You can't eat the food or drink the things that you used to enjoy without effort. You can't walk under the light of the sun without help.
[Then, softly:]
You're effectively a dead man walking, with nothing but memories of everything that made you what you were slipping a bit more every time you give into the urges that make you a vampire.
[ Brig feels something tiny shatter inside him. He holds onto it and keeps it together ]
[ Brig tries to say it with strength. But it comes out hoarse and cracked. Painful. ] I won't let that happen to you, sir. [ "I... I don't want to become like them..." That night he lost a father comes back to him in flashes. ]
[ He hasn't felt the reassuring touch of a good friend, particularly a former mentor and father figure, like that in so long. The last was when he last had contact with Rico. After that, Brig honestly thought he was the last of the HECATON, the last Titan left. It's comfortable. And very heavy. He feels the full weight of the respect and concern he has for Hawke weigh down on him ]
I... I don't want to be like them, sir. [ He's pertaining to the vampires he's had the opportunity to observe on this little field trip. ] I want to be like you. [ Always has. Always will. ] A man still fighting the good fight. Never giving up no matter how down the chips are.
Well, the best way of getting to that is understanding what you are more. That's the one thing we weren't really able to do for you: show you what you are, and teach you how to reconcile that with how to be as human as you could possibly be.
[He had not known enough back in the day. Now he knows plenty.]
ohgod, Brig feels like such a child when talking to him
[ A pause ] I have been, sir. I spoke with Father Aidan already. Magistrate Shinta spoke to me about it too. [ A beat ] I really am working on it. Promise.
[ Yeah, he's read about it. And that's been one of the many things he wants to deal with before he goes ]
I know, sir. But I don't think I could focus on that walk properly if there are things still on my plate left uncleaned. [ Taning's sister, Josh's mom, Brianna's durance ] I want to take that walk when things have relatively settled.
I suppose that is what makes the Pilgrimage a difficult thing for the Created of today, in spite of all the support. At the end of it all, it's still a journey.
[And that still means leaving things - people - behind, perhaps for good.]
[ A soft smile ] Was alone for pretty much five decades, Boss, and somehow was finally able to make a home. [ There's that look of unflinching determination in Brig's eyes. Hawke's very familiar with that, that stubborn "I'll make it happen" glint Brig always had ] I'm sure I'll find a way to make it back.
[ A soft smile. That of a child who knows his father approves. Brig shakes his head slightly and looks back into the house. ]
Pretty sure the Senator has it all handled, but you think she'd appreciate the help? [ Tries to focus his hearing to the sounds inside ] Or do you think she's about done?
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[If he looks amused, Brigade, it's because he kind of is. You are, after all, talking to a vampire right now, and following another one around on orders.]
Most other vampires at this moment are simply trying to find their way in a very dark place. Sometimes, that dark place happens to be their own psyche. Their urges.
will let Big Boss do the talking like was mentioned in the car. haha
I didn't mean you were included, Boss. [ He really didn't. Brig's never been a very good liar. Rarely does he lie as well. In the long time Hawke and he were apart, little has changed in that regard ] I just mean these types of vampires. [ Sheepish, sorry Bucky Barnes moment ]
I've read up on what I can about vampires, sir. [ A beat ] The inner beast they try to fight everyday.
XD
At that last comment, though, the smile's fading just a bit, and Hawke is nodding.]
"Inner beast"... yes, it's about as apt as they can put it, but it does not even begin to scratch the surface.
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Once you become a vampire, you slowly start to lose touch with everything that made you human. You don't actually feel emotions anymore. You can't eat the food or drink the things that you used to enjoy without effort. You can't walk under the light of the sun without help.
[Then, softly:]
You're effectively a dead man walking, with nothing but memories of everything that made you what you were slipping a bit more every time you give into the urges that make you a vampire.
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It's easier for them... you all... to just give in to the urge, sir?
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[Why do you think so many of them fell?]
How else could one possibly deal with the loss? The sadness? To drink blood makes us stronger. It helps us feel again.
[And then even that starts to fade away.]
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[ Brig tries to say it with strength. But it comes out hoarse and cracked. Painful. ] I won't let that happen to you, sir. [ "I... I don't want to become like them..." That night he lost a father comes back to him in flashes. ]
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You worry about yourself, son. You're one of the Created: if you ever want to change that, you're going to have to start changing yourself.
[Saying that quietly and firmly.]
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I... I don't want to be like them, sir. [ He's pertaining to the vampires he's had the opportunity to observe on this little field trip. ] I want to be like you. [ Always has. Always will. ] A man still fighting the good fight. Never giving up no matter how down the chips are.
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[He had not known enough back in the day. Now he knows plenty.]
ohgod, Brig feels like such a child when talking to him
hee
[Saying that gently, but firmly.]
Still got a lot of things that you're handling before you go, huh?
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Go, sir?
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[That wasn't how it worked, to his understanding.]
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I know, sir. But I don't think I could focus on that walk properly if there are things still on my plate left uncleaned. [ Taning's sister, Josh's mom, Brianna's durance ] I want to take that walk when things have relatively settled.
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I suppose that is what makes the Pilgrimage a difficult thing for the Created of today, in spite of all the support. At the end of it all, it's still a journey.
[And that still means leaving things - people - behind, perhaps for good.]
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[Heh.]
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Never going to happen, Boss. This one's never going down. You brought him up too well.
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It's good to know that I still know how to bring up soldiers with the survival instincts of cockroaches on steroids.
No appropriate icon.:'(
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[With mock solemnity.]
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Pretty sure the Senator has it all handled, but you think she'd appreciate the help? [ Tries to focus his hearing to the sounds inside ] Or do you think she's about done?
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Then nodding.]
She'll need us for clean-up in there now. Let's go.